Monday Q&A

How is Geri?
She's uncomfortable but hanging in there. She has at least a few contractions an hour, sometimes more, but never more than the eight she is "allowed" and never the kind of contractions that appear to mean "cervical adjustments".

How are the twins?
They're probably all hyped up on Terbutaline, but otherwise appear to be fine. The girl moves a lot more than the boy, but both of their heart rates are within normal limits last we heard.

How "old" are they now?
They "turned" 35 weeks over the weekend. That was a big milestone, because the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) at Geri's hometown hospital can handle newborns over 35 weeks (assuming all else is well, of course).

So they won't be born at one of the Dayton hospitals or Cincinnati?
They would only be born there if the actual delivery was deemed to be very high risk for some reason. If one or both of them needed a particularly high level of care they could be transported to the NICU in Dayton, or, more likely, Cincinnati.

Are you nervous/excited/ready?
We're pretty jumpy and distracted, yes. We are excited and eager. Sarah, as I've said before, is in power nesting mode. She deals with anxiety by becoming a taskmaster, so she's plowing through her imposing pre-baby to-do list with ruthless determination. I'm taking things a day at a time, with a bag packed and my phone nearby. Grace is looking forward to the event, but I don't think she understands the permanence of this change. Harrison is more apprehensive than excited. He knows these babies are going to be a drain on our time and won't be any fun to play with for at least a couple of years.

As for being ready, we'll be ready for twins after we've raised the twins, just as we were ready for having our first child after he was a few years old, and we are just now ready for a second child. We've studied up all we can but we know this will be "learn by doing."

You know, you're not going to get much . . .
. . . sleep. Yes. We know. Harrison and Grace were both good sleepers, so statistically we're due. Also, if one twin wakes up, the other is likely to wake up, too. With our last two we were both working full time. At least this time that pressure will be reduced.

How is Sarah feeling?
Her drugs seem to have worked and her bronchitis is much better.

How are you feeling?
I have a very bad case of bronchitis. I would call it "bronchitis on steroids," but the effectiveness of that figure of speech would be reduced by the fact that I am, in fact, on steroids. I've been on Albuterol since last week, but then my fever came back, I became seriously short of breath, and (most significantly) my mother insisted, so I went back in yesterday and the doctor prescribed an inhaled steroid as well as a potent antibiotic.

Having been a very straight high school and college student, I had never really inhaled anything until this particular illness. Between the Albuterol and the steroid, suddenly I'm Cheech and/or Chong (never watched those movies, either). If I don't get better soon, I fully expect the pharmacist to give me instructions to grind up my antibiotic tablets and snort them off a mirror.

The good news is that things seem to be working. I'm already much better today.

Did you ever find a solution to the problem with the stuck User Account Control in Windows Vista?
Yes. Reinstall Vista. I [kid] you not.

I searched the Knowledge Base, TechNet, and the web in general. I tried multiple Windows Restores and several command line utilities. I wasn't allowed to do anything because Windows couldn't ask for permission. Finally I tried to save my documents to a CD and wasn't even allowed to do that. So I ended up re-typing an important document from the tablet screen to my desktop (again, not kidding here) and reinstalling Vista. You can bet I turned off the UAC immediately this time, and OneCare (which seemed to be near the center of this problem) won't come near the tablet this time.

In an earlier post, you warned about the dangers of attempting to peek at a Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaner while it worked. Are there other dangers to my corneas that I should avoid?
Yes. Let's say you made the mistake of grocery shopping while hungry, and therefore made the unwise choice of purchasing Chef Boyardee Spaghetti & Meatballs (because in your weakened state the meatballs looked kinda good), and then in a later moment of weakness you decided to actually eat this product. Well, you can't eat that stuff cold, so when you heat it (in the microwave, of course - if you had time for the stove you'd be eating real food), be sure to remove it slowly and stir while holding the bowl away from you. Attempting to examine the product immediately out of the microwave could allow it to eject a superheated blob of sauce-like product directly into your eye. This will cause you to scream in pain once, then again when you realize you are still holding the hot bowl, all the while backing uselessly around the kitchen to the great enjoyment of your giggling three year-old.

Note that this is exactly the sort of warning on a product label that might cause you to say, "Stupid lawyers. Nobody is dumb enough to actually get sauce-like product in their eye." I might have said exactly the same thing, before this past week. Now I think there should be a big 'ole warning label on the can.

If you must endanger yourself by looking at the Scrubbing Bubbles Shower Cleaner and Chef Boyardee Spaghetti & Meatballs, then at least do the sauce first. That way the scrubbing bubbles can wash the residual tomato molecules out of your eye.

Where are you getting the questions for these Q&As?
Some of them are real questions people have asked. For example, that question ("Where are you getting these questions?") was asked by my mother. Some are questions that I expect people are checking the blog to learn about but just haven't asked. And in some cases, because there are things about which I know nobody will ask, I simply make up the questions.

Wait a minute, you make up the questions? That can't be right. I ask the questions, and you can't know what I'm thinking. Here, I'll show you: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and . . .
58

Whoa . . .
That's right, Keanu, there is no spoon.